Contrary to conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s men who first lose sexual desire in a long-term relationship, a new study finds.
Men’s desire for sex can be as tricky as women’s, according to researchers at the University of Kentucky. Men often lose interest when they feel insecure, when they worry they are losing autonomy in a relationship, or when physical changes cause embarrassment. Pressure to be the initiator compounds the stress.
“We expect male desire to always be high and to be simple, like an on and off switch, while we expect women’s desire to be a complicated switchboard, but they are both complex,” says Kristen P. Mark, associate professor of health promotion and director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky and the lead researcher on study, a broad look at men and women that analyzed 64 studies on sexual desire conducted since the 1950s.
Psychologists say desire in both sexes ebbs and flows. And it’s natural for it to decline after the heady honeymoon period, which typically lasts about 18 months to two years. Still, almost 80% of married couples have sex a few times a month or more: 32% reported having sex two to three times per week; 47% reported having sex a few times a month, according to “The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States,” a 1994 University of Chicago study considered the most comprehensive in the field.
An expanded version of this article appears at WSJ.com
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